I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
