Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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