take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
