I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize