I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You can't special order awesome
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize