He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
