I want to stick my p in your. b.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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