I showed him my bush... on skype.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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