We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
