The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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