yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
