we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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