I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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