What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
