If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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