started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
