You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
