My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
