It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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