yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
