there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
