hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize