margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
