Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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