If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
