just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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