i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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