Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
