I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
do nipples grow back?
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