My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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