just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize