I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
