I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
