I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
