i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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