i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
