Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
