you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
