he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
