I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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