Got a toothbrush?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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