Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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