one might say we're banned from that church
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
