He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
