Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
