Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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