Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
