I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
