dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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