I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize