This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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