Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I still have a little drunk in my system
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
