i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
