He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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