i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
