he shaved USA in his pubs
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
