Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize