Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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