I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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