I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
