the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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