then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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