his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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