people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
