there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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