Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
