Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
