Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
