I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I need to calm my uterus...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
