Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize