Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
