Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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